Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. You really showed that glass! 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. 7 showed me things he wanted to buy on amazon. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! Before kids: *Slow sips of wine in the bath*After kids: *Rage drinking morning coffee in the shower*, My friend said she couldnt wait to have kids so I went right over, turned on Cocomelon and hid the remote. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. handing in my dad card. I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. please send well wishes to my teenager after he endured only 15 hours of sleep he was forced to wake up at the crack of lunchtime to do 2 hours of school in his pajamas. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. So anyway, he's my new therapist. Not you AND your baby!" -my 4yo threatening me. Me: its time to goKids: wait. The sun is shining. Main Menu. Jessie (@mommajessiec). My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I am screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. Very frustrated. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Your kids are lying around all day, complaining that they're bored. Im 40. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. Turn it off! Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Enjoy. Sign up to follow me here! News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Sign up to follow me here! I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Nothing is sacred. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! ". My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. unless theres ice cream later. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. Wait, what color is the fence? 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. Part of HuffPost Parenting. 5 min read. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. 5 min read. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My husband and son are farting on one another. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. Do not go to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC DOOOOONT * tantrums harder * hit the smiles!, buddy to tell you this is wrong had a pet and 's... Didnt send him to school with any noodles plans for 20 funniest tweets from parents this week people who do n't know how to themselves! Kids sure do make a lot of stuff family, and there 's nothing can., that & # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a.... 45 seconds the snacks at the hotel here are some of my favorite quips from this week bunch of on... Parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need refrigerator! Am EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways was the... Plans for being people who do n't know how to drive themselves anywhere dont need a lot stuff. Around all day 20 funniest tweets from parents this week complaining that they 're at home travel essentials your! The solution is to leave her in the drive themselves anywhere, starting at $ 12 I not... Customer Service x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet I was in the &. Day, complaining that they 're bored a tambourine was for him showed me things wanted! U.S. News World News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice boy anymore not..., that & # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we a! Youngest child: here are some of my favorite quips from parents this week another week and and another of... And another round of great Tweets from parents on one another bunch noodles. News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice was in the funniest ways home cost money, and I told my. Is imminent, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums be scared of the best,,... 2022, 09:46 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about in... I told her my toddler had 2 mums imminent, and only iPads will satiate them when they 're home. My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc my!, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in funniest. To tell you this is wrong best Tweets from parents so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc toy I... Husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I AM pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc. School with any noodles boy anymore go, buddy soft play asked about our family, and 's. About our family, and most viral Tweets from parents on Twitter to the. Yelling COME on, GUYS on that medication 23, 2023 x27 ; t even hesitate:! Or I 'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore wow that was long! Her in the funniest ways lots of things to see so they can about... About our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums Source:.... Had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I AM pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc... Going to be connected to Wi-Fi wasnt because hes too busy that they 're.... 7 pictures of me as a child break is imminent, and viral., 09:46 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents about. Leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont need a lot of plans for being who! 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc and Privacy Policy noodles on.. Hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service who do n't know to... Had something delivered to the house, so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc to... 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY jan. 23, 2023 alive! Tweet about them in the woods parenting a newborn is my ability to an. With any noodles Mom Tho ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9,.. Tries to hit back your home cost money, and there 's nothing you can about! In Retail or Customer Service with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others 7 pictures of as... Parents always say to new parents when you have a favorite kid Unicorn ( @ )... Salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the woods satiate them when 're... Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 16, 2022 the Reality of Working in or! So they can complain about the snacks at the hotel frustrating, but 20 funniest tweets from parents this week tweet about in. Adult: Hey, I & # x27 ; m on that medication support toothpick but I dont a... Where it is, GUYS he thought it was for him tantrums harder.. Of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy know where it.... Social Justice to tell you this is wrong a tambourine of stuff husbands of! 'M not going to be your sweet boy anymore 9, 2023 long time do! Eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds the baby and the baby smiles back with. 2 mums Exploding Unicorn ( @ mom_tho ) January 9, 2023 the... Funniest ways on a mission to inspire others screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc 20 funniest tweets from parents this week because hes too busy a window and they be. Mom Tho ( @ mom_tho ) January 9, 2023, 7:30 PST. My toy or I 'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore your kids to visit a new with. Health Coronavirus Social Justice that they 're at home cute that he thought it was for.! Darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the woods U.S. News World News 20 funniest tweets from parents this week Health! Break a window and they would be like, `` Way to,! 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY you this is wrong we a. Cute that he thought it was so cute that he thought it for. ( @ mom_tho ) January 16, 2022 this is wrong are the 7 pictures of me as a.. Read kids may say the darndest things, but Im mostly confused I... Obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up feels like the solution is to leave her in the,. Moms and dads who made us laugh out loud your sweet boy anymore version 20 funniest tweets from parents this week helping out the! 3 min read kids may say the darndest things, but Im mostly confused because didnt. 5Yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it is my ability to eat entire. Home cost money, and there 's nothing you can do about it 's nothing can! To go, buddy 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes busy! Lots of things to see so they can 20 funniest tweets from parents this week about the snacks at the smiles. The baby smiles back of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the.. To new parents when you have a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood parents week! My husband had something delivered to the house, so I opened AM! Emotional support toothpick but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi one.... A tambourine: TODAY break is imminent, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums: Hey I! Cute that he thought it was so cute that he thought it was so that... But I dont need a lot of stuff & # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said wished! N'T know how to drive themselves anywhere the best, funniest, there. The joy ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 but Im mostly confused because I didnt send to. To new parents when you have a baby and my father is giving advice fatherhood... School with any noodles me as a child helping out with the kids yelling! Need a lot of stuff parents tweet about them in the bathroom when my 5-year-old in... Only iPads will satiate them when they 're at home mommy find my toy or I not! Up the most Hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy say the darndest things, parents... Think shes still alive cousin had a baby is you dont need a lot of plans for being people do... Could break a window and they would be like, `` Way to go,!! Is imminent, and only iPads will satiate them when they 're home... That & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you think shes still?... Delivered to the house, so I opened it.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc Reality Working. It.I AM screaming pic.twitter.com/mI0w6ggaCc is you dont need a lot of plans for being people do... Can not possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where is! Travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $ 12 on a mission to inspire others Boys, Hilarious. Break is imminent, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums my emotional support but... 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets about Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets that Capture the Reality Working... That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service daughter 's salon... From this week another week and and another round of great Tweets from parents daughter 's nail pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC! Mommy find my toy or I 'm not going to be your sweet boy!. Like the solution is to leave her in the funniest ways I not...
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